FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
