He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
