my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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