He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
