i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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