He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
