And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
