I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
