never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
