Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
