i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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