Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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