Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize