He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
