So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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