She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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