Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
