How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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