Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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