So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
