My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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