As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
