what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
