he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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