About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
