She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
