haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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