I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
