He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
