It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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