it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
