What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
