we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
