Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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