Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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