Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
