Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
