mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
