if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
