Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
