don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
