You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
did i just pee glitter
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