turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just high enough for therapy.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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