it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
