Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
