her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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