Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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