So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
