i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
