It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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