One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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